Brushing fingers against the bark
Examine the tufts of moss
And the fallen beetle
And the brave alder sapling emerging among the roughage
A new face, a new gaze, a new smile
Yet familiar
Sweetness struggles
Among fresh wounds
And collecting obligations
Moments of clarity between monologue-worry
Inside the crown
Eye-gazing and synchronised breath
Tentative tenderness
Walking step by step
Heart stepping the same way
Unsteadily peacefully anticipating; participating
Reaching out like Adam’s desperate finger in the chapel
Wanting and dreaming
And fretting and exploring
The trees whisper
The soil sombrely offers it’s advice
“Sink your fingers in my dear”
“Allow the molecules to pass between the barriers”
Carrying branches to the spot
We sit and tend to uncertain flames
Adolescent flickers test their limits
Tentatively, tenderly
Kissing the sky
Staring into the glow
Feeling, not speaking
Savouring every glance, every touch
Why are you here with me?
And which one of my selves are here with you?
Am I dissipating?
Am I like the smoke that rises from our fire,
To become the air the trees will inhale, to become more tree ?
Or am I like those electric-seeming sparks that splay out,
When we bash the poker off the burning log?
Mesmerised for a moment
Am I allowed to fall in love with you?
Or is that too much?
Where do your boundaries lie?
You say they are new
So I am the experiment
With which you test your rules
Learning to hold up your guard
But this is all new to me
I haven’t been here before I need no guard
I am comfortable
Sinking into the soil
Merging with the starry sky
Alike, comfortable in your arms or buried in your chest
I am untethered and free
All you have to do is reach for me
My heart is ready for this
But each of our selves is not
So I falter, I swallow a bout
Peering out to that hill of native trees
A unique spectacle in this humdrum land
That forest held the magic
Of one beautiful occasion
On top of that hill
That little spot
Where we pitched our tent
And spoke to the trees
And were soft
Clamber down from the hill
Back to this world of collecting obligations
And rationalisation
Of such inconvenient feeling
I accept my lot
Ride on this train for however long I’ve got
I have my heart on a leash
Struggling with the grip
This moment is what I awaited
For so long
But I did not expect
When it would come
To taste this pinch of salt
Typical me
So I remember
I am always home
Among the reeds and the trees and the leaves
I am home
And I can let you in for a while
To sit with me
Beneath a twinkly, smoke-filling sky
Tentatively,
Tenderly
We can let things be
Hannah Fitzpatrick 