Flowing, Forming Poem

See spoken word version here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nFPnQ-Pmd_Y&t=308s&ab_channel=HannahFitzpatrick

Flow with life
You must go with life
You cannot know your strife
Until you hold the knife
And cut through the seams
Break away the dreams
Stop clinging and climbing and clutching
Stop looking
Stop hunting
Every beautiful face
Every trace
Of gorgeous epiphany
A want, a gaze;
Haze, daze
Never slipped in with ease
Took a trip to the sea
Water lifted me
Just wanted to be free
The waves they splash and splurge
They do not flow, they surge
Pushing forth
With customary force
Not a silken skirt
But a gushing mirth
They do no flow
They do not flow
You must know
Who you are
And feel at home
In every moment; in the moment
In your body, in your mind
Exploration, undulation, seaside
The rocks pull you in
Their language you learn
In every single moment that you stress and churn
Your thoughts; they burn
Wanting to be more
Wanting to be more
Wanting to be more
Is very sore
The waves are much faster than you imagined them to be
Rushing and crushing
Urgently gushing
Like it’s a race to the shore
They come ever more
And you dream
To be free
Want to be
Yet a woman
Can a woman be free?
When what she craves is protectivity
Receptivity is her grace
But alone she can fly free
More at peace
Than one who’s fixed on achieving
She sits breathing
And the beauty that she witnesses in the gaze of her eye
She doth internalise
Her maternal mind
Gives love to all that’s growing
An eternal knowing, itself; deeper growing
Digging her hands into the earth
You’ll see her glowing
And now, finding herself here
By the waves when the dark is near
Yet without fear
No one is judging
Because she is not judging herself
Independence is beautiful they say
But what man wants a creature with a pair of wings?
You don’t need to figure it out
You just need to know what you’re about
And waltz into that reality
Forget the duality
Of two people
One past, one present
One in the shadows
Looking towards the light
Take flight?
You might.
Or you might not
They tell you to reach reach reach
For the stars
And whether or not you deliver
In a coffin you will wither
And it does not matter any longer
For you reached
And you thought you could always breach
Any restriction in your way
Because you were free
To reach
For your dreams
When you were never free
To feel
Or to be
In this moment
To feel the call of the rocks
Or the crash of the waves
And they splash and they splush and they splurge
And all the creatures around you
Do you give up?
Do you fall?
Into nothingness?
Do you become a nothingness?
A nobody?
Just to feel something?
How do you feel something and still be something?
Can you be both at once?
Or must one come to the front?
Feeling to the fore?
Or becoming before
Everything crushes
Into a diamond
Smatter, dazzle
You just wanted to be loved
To be seen
To be some orbital point
Some focal moment
And you might never be
But you can rest at ease
Because at least you’re free
Yet it’s all too easy
When you’re alone on the shore
When in company are you less or more?
Alone and with others:
Two separate entities
Disparate identities
Clamber together
To some unbounded form
That’s constantly in argument
With all that should and would
And would and could
And could and should
and should and should and
should reach
and reach and reach and
You will always fall
When constantly reaching
Forever breaching
Your own restrictionary rules
Someone is blowing a whistle
Someone is shouting scold
You are not yet old
When you were young they called you bold
And now all they have is bitter looks
Spitting “Why are you like this?”
What you do
What you say
Why must you be this way?
Some they call you special
They lather you in praise
And tell you that they love you
If only you be such a way
Then you try to be special
And your very spark settles
Hear the squealing of the kettle
Burning water against metal
Losing all
But the lesson
All these false conditions
You’ve latched onto
There are no conditions
And when someone puts you in that position
They weaken your condition
Because your position
Is unconditional love
So do not fall into the clutches
Of the clumbering, lumbering hands
Of those too weak to know their own inner lives
Create a divide
It won’t always be
But for now you must ignore
This particular section of reality
Until you are so strong
That even if their hands are squeezed around your neck
You’ll still have ease of breath
Simply because you do not let it affect
So your losses you collect
And toss away
Like locks into a river
Authority making you shiver
Until you climb to the height
And be your own light
And still cast your eyes upwards
To the bigger, beauteous expression of you
The sun, the stars, the moon
But not to go too far
And think yourself too great
Another disease of late
When you want to be seen to be
What you want to be
Cast away the word free
That you’ll never be
When fixated on looking some way
On any given day
Presenting yourself in extraordinary fashion
With unyielding passion
Until follower upon follower
Kneels to the ground
Praise abound
Not a sound
Of doubt, you let in
Happy days!
False malaise.
But that is not the end
Just another part of the struggle
To stay humble
The humble does not mumble
The humble does not cower
The humble only knows how to gracefully wield power
Self-assured at every hour
Secure like a rock in the sea
Ever stuck in one’s place
Its firmness is its grace
The force of reactivity
Shaped by the flowing
That is true growing
True creating
Holds the weighting
Of the firm and the unfilled
The knowing and the unknowing
The pleasure and the pain
The loss and the gain
That the flowing water forms the solid rock
Should be the wisdom
That keeps you from getting lost
Perfectly formed, yet always becoming
Beautiful in whatever form it will make
Because it will take
Many a rendition
Rendition after rendition
Until there is no more new edition
Only sand
And memories
Washed back into the sea
Going back to source
The one great force
And in any future rendition
There is only one condition
To be secure
Every day
That is the beauty
To be free your own way
Whoever you are
Whoever you may be
Whatever skills in your possession
Deactivate the repression
And whatever you do
Always be loving
Towards that

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